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The contents of this page will get sorted as time goes by, as the list of articles gets longer but for know it will be a random eclectic selection. please enjoy..
SHIMLA RETREAT IN OCTOBER

October is the best month to travel anywhere in India. Monsoons are on the way out and
the landscape is green all over. This is the Shimla YSS retreat during October.

September 30th celebration of Lahiri Mahasaya's birthday.
Lush green garden
The view out of my window Flowers all over
Colorful plants Beautiful blossoms
The buildings in the morning hours And at dusk!!
JAI GURU!
 
THE HIMALAYAS AS SEEN FROM SHIMLA
This year there was early snowfall in the Kinnor range near Shimla and
one day I was lucky to have the following Himalaya Darshan
My experience has been that you need to have a special blessing from the Himalayan God to grant you his darshan. Otherwise you may visit here from long distances and go away seeing only clouds or haze!! That is why I feel this time I was lucky to have this darshan!

Here's a fun one - can you name all the faces (like Sgt. Pepper's album cover)?! Bhaktananda standing far right, Durgamata seated far left, Kriyananda, the Matas, ... is that Master's cousin Prahbas Ghosh and E. E. Dickinson too? ...


May the Light of God be victorious over the darkness of His maya in our hearts and minds!

JAI GURU JAI MA!!

 

Master recommended to devotees to read this poem on occasion
to help them to keep the goal before them.

SAMADHI  

                               Paramahansa Yogananda

Vanished the veils of light and shade,
Lifted every vapor of sorrow,
Salted away all dawns of fleeting joy,
Gone the dim sensory mirage.

Love, hate, health, disease, life, death,
Perished these false shadows on the screen of duality.
The storm of maya stilled
By magic wand of intuition deep.

Present, past, future, no more for me,
But ever-present, all-flowing I, I, everywhere,
Beyond the imagination of expectancy,
Is this, my Samadhi state.

Planets, stars, stardust, earth,
Thoughts of all men, past, present, future,
Every blade of grass, myself, mankind,
Each particle of creation’s dust, anger, greed, good, bad, salvation, lust,
I swallowed – transmuted all
Into a vast ocean of blood of my own Being.

Smoldering joy, off-puffed by unceasing meditation,
Which blinded my tearful eyes,
Then burst into immortal flames of bliss,
And consumed my ears, my frame, my all.

Thou art I, I am Thou,
Knowing, Knower, Known, as One!
One tranquilled, unbroken thrall of eternal living, ever-new peace,
Enjoyable beyond imagination of expectancy, Samadhi bliss!

Not an unconscious state
Of mental chloroform without a willful return,
Samadhi but extends my conscious realm
Beyond limits of the mortal frame
To farthest boundary of eternity,
Where I, the Cosmic Sea,
Watch the little ego floating in Me.

Not a sparrow, nor a grain of sand, falls without my sight.
The dark earth, mountains, seas are molten liquid!
The flowing sea changes into vapors of nebulae!
Aum blows upon vapors, opening wondrously their veils.

Oceans stand revealed of shining electrons,
Till, at the last sound of the cosmic drum (Aum),
Vanish the grosser lights into eternal rays
Of all-pervading bliss.

From joy I came, for joy I live, in sacred joy I melt.
Ocean of mind, I drink all creation’s waves.
Four veils of solid, liquid, vapor, light, lift aright.
I, in everything enter the Great Myself.
Gone forever: fitful, flickering shadows of mortal memory.

Spotless is my mental sky – below, ahead, and high above,
Eternity and I, one united ray.
I, a tiny bubble of laughter,
Have become the Sea of Mirth Itself.

ACHARYA SWAMI BIDYANANDA GIRIGI MAHARAJ
Bidyanandaji
The senior most monk of YSS/SRF, Acharya Swami Bidyananda Giriji Maharaj, age 105, who received his initiation from Paramahansa Yoganandaji in 1936, and dedicated his life to the service of our Gurudeva in the area of education, left this world to join the Gurus in the higher spheres, today at 3.30 pm (Indian time). His body will be given samadhi tomorrow at the ashrama at Lakhanpur. Jai Guru, Jai Ma.
 
My Memories of Paramahansa Yogananda

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_oatrrixLo&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_oatrrixLo&feature=related

My Memories of Paramahansa Yogananda

By Mary Peck Stockton

As a very young child I was introduced into the world of Self- Realization Fellowship and its beloved guru, Paramahansa Yogananda. In 1932 my mother attended one of Paramahansaji's lectures at the U. S. Grant Hotel in San Diego, California.
She was transformed by his words. Following the lecture, as was his practice, he stood at the front of the hall and received well-wishers. My mother went forward to shake his hand and, she felt, to receive a blessing. At a later meeting he healed a festered boil on her leg instantaneously. I was not present at that incident but she excitedly related it to me. She read his materials and began to meditate, which I, as an eight-year-old child, never questioned but wondered what she was "up to."

At some point, my mother began to take my brother and me to the Sunday meetings. It is not clear in my memory where we first attended services. I know that as a young child I was curious as to why we went to a church where the "minister" wore an orange robe. My brother and I had been attencling a Lutheran church near our home in San Diego. Now we went to "lectures" by Swami Yogananda - an experience very different from the sermons at our regular Sunday school. Paramahansaji repeatedly told us, "l'm nott preaching a sermon; rather,I am teaching you how to know God."

His very appearance made me feel in awe of him. He was kingly in his carriage,and stood straight always. He was full-bodied (a mark of beauty in India) and was taller than my father who was about average height. Over his ochre robe was a large scarf held in place at the left shoulder with an SRF lotus pin. His hands were soft, warm. and full. His dark hair fell in waves down to his shoulders and beyond. He had a habit of brushing his hair frorn in front of his shoulders to the back. His skin was light brown, smooth, and soft-caramel-colored and without wrinkles. At times during his lecture, he would delight the audience when, with twinkling eyes, he would say, "You can't tell how old I am." Truly, he retained his youthful countenance.

Master always preceded his lectures with the question to the congregation: "How is everyone? Are you awake and ready?" As one voice, we would answer affirmatively! He wanted no one "sleeping" while he offered God's message to them. Master's voice, well-modulated, rose and fell to express the internal feelings he projected. His voice would range from whispered phrases to a great booming volume. It certainly commanded attention and kept the listeners "awake and ready."

One day I saw him studying me. I don't believe anyone or anything escaped his interest and attention. I felt he was always watching over me, and to this day I am comforted by that thought. I also remember, distinctly, seeing a lovely young woman who was efficient and eager to abide by the Swami's directions. She went about her tasks quietly and with ease. A look of joy enveloped her countenance.
This person was Miss Faye Wright who was to become our beloved Sri Daya Mata.

Before the SRF temple in San Diego was acquired in 1943, my mother, brother, and I attended services at Encinitas every Sunday. Paramahansaji was so very pleased when the beautiful temple was built on top of the cliffs overlooking the ocean.* He wanted to share that beauty of the scene with the church attendees, and so the temple had ceiling-to-floor tinted windows that captured the view of his beloved ocean. The platform was in front of the windows.
Master sat to the right of the congregation. From that position he would play the harmonium and sing fully and passionately. He usually ended the sessions with "ln the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea....Glory, glory, hallelujah...."He sang with such gusto and feeling that it stirred all the audience as he urged us to join in. Everything he did was done with great energy, which flowed from him into the participants. His sincerity spread throughout the listerning audience, gathering all into the power and presence always evident in the room. During the meditation portion of the service he was quiet for a long time. I remember hearing him say: "Christ is here blessing you-l see you all bathed in a great light - you are blessed by being here." One would leave the services with great spiritual upliftment that would stay for a long time.

A demonstration of his generosity came home to me one Sunday in Encinitas. My mother went forward to shake his hand. She told Master that we had very little money for food. The dear saint reached into his pocket, extended his hand, and crumpled some paper money into my mother's hand. He was openly warm to all people and extended his warmth at every opportunity.

I remember, so vividly, Master's walks on the Encinitas grounds with Mr. James Lynn (Rajarsi Janakananda). Such radiance exchanged between the two of them. When I matured I began to understand the joy emanating from the pair. Their friendship was so strong, loving, and childlike in the best sense of the word. God's presence was visible in their faces as well as being felt by us who saw them together.

I was particularly impressed with the quality of people I met at SRF. They were so sincere, loving, and intelligent. In the Master's audiences one saw doctors, attorneys, professors,and a variety of people from all walks of life. As I acquainted myself with many of his followers, they became my life's role models. I find the same wonderful qualities I admired in my youth still remaining in the people I encounter in SRF today. Paramahansa yogananda was larger than life blessed all of humanity with his love and blessings.
Galli-Curci, a famous diva of the Metropolitan Opera, was a long time student and friend of Master's. She and her husband could sometimes be seen in attendance at the San Diego. My life's burning ambition at that time was to be an opera singer. I felt life would not be worth living if I couldn't get to sing proffessionally. I was in my teens and certainly bitten by the performing "bug." One Sunday Master asked me to sing at the service. "Piece of cake," I said to myself. I had been singing in public and professionally since I was five years old, so this request did not throw me. Time for the service arrived; I was directed to my place on the dais next to Master. That day Madame Galli-Gurci was in attendance.

During the meditation period Master asked me, you see him? Do you see Sri Yukteswarji?" I replied', No, but I see his Guru, the one with the full face." I had seen Lahiri Mahasaya. Master said nothing further to me. The time came for me to get up and sing. Master had said previously, "Sing only for God - not the audience." Well, that's what I thought I was doing! So I opened my mouth awaiting the first dulcet tone to be forthcoming. What came out astounded me. I sounded like a croaking frog! None of the vocal tricks I'd learned to help clear my throat worked. I tried to sing to no avail. I sat down silent and dejected.

Years later I heard the story about the disciple who asked Master to let him perform yoga postures at an SRF event, wanting egotistically to be noticed. Master permitted him to do so, but when the time came this young man found himself completely unable to do some of the exercises! * When I heard this, a big light went on in my memory, and I thought of my ill-starred performance. I started to laugh - Master was teaching me not to be ego-involved with my voice! what a hard lesson for a young girl, but one I shall never forget. Needless to say, Madame had no words of praise for me! I am still chuckling to myself now as I write this.

Master had an endearing mannerism that he used often.

He would preface remarks intended to teach a point with the little boy Brother Anandamoy on the cassette recording, "The Importance of a True Guru."

phrase, "You know...." His forefinger would be extended to emphasize what he wanted the student to learn or respond to, and his voice would rise in volume at the end of the admonition. One day during greeting time he raised the "teaching finger" and said to me: "You know, you need to lose flesh." That's all he said. I was quite
overweight in my high school days, and I knew this gem from Master should be attended to. By the end of the ensuing year I had removed sixty pounds of unwanted "flesh." I'm sure I was receiving help and support for my efforts from Master. To this day I maintain a normal weight. When Master gave direction to a disciple, one would feel not only compelled to follow the valuable advice but blessed with the ability to do so.

I corresponded with Paramahansaji and Sri Daya Mata from 1947 on. I received from them, in return, letters that gave me guidance in answer to my questions. Sad to report, I lost most of the letters from Master in a flood, as well as an autographed copy of his Autobictgraphy of a Yogi. His signature was always preceded with "Unceasing Blessings. "Sri Daya Mata has continued to offer me and my family love and guidance to this day. Herletters are filled with overpowering love that pours out and touches my heart. Whenever I have requested supportive prayers to help me through the varied tests of my life, she and SRF have always been there offering me hope, guidance, and support. Truly, Self-Realization Fellowship has shaped and guided my entire life. The final opportunity for me to see Master in person was in November of 1949. My husband and I had been offered positions in Washington State. We were traveling by car to move there permanently. I had a strong desire to stop in Los Angeles to say good-bye to Master. He was kind enough to receive me. He was always so busy and I certainly would have understood had he found it necessary to refuse me. I know truly, he watches over all his little lambs and no one is greater or less than another When I was shown to the reception room on the top floor of Headquarters he was seated in a large armchair. Mementos of his trip to India were displayed around the room. The long woven scarf, often draped over his shoulders, was placed on the back of his chair. I immediately noticed that his body and face were thinner than the time I had previously seen him. His face was very serene. A slight smile crossed his lips as I stood before his quiet presence. He asked me about rny plans for the future. As he listened patiently, another smile came forth as he told me news that, at that time, I didn't know.

He informed me I was going to have a baby boy and that he would always, spiritually, watch over him. I had not entered his room knowing I was pregnant. As I recall, he described what my baby would look like. He then asked me to send a picture of him when he was born.  Needless to say I remembered Master's words when Peter, my son, was born. I did keep my promise to send Master a picture. He did keep his promise to watch over him.

While living and working in Washington State I continued my correspondence with Paramahansaji. He was my anchor in a world that presented many tests to me. His major message throughout all was, "Meditate, meditate, meditate!" Over the years I have been helped through many major illnesses. My spirit remains undaunted because of the prayerful support I receive from Master and SRF.

In November 1983, I was facing major cancer surgery. I called SRF Headquarters for needed supportive prayer. During the period immediately following the surgery my prognosis was not good. I had lost an extremely large amount of blood. I was told that I might not live through many moredays. So I lay back in my hospital bed and gave myself completely to God, telling Him that I was ready and willing to come Home. I was fully awake and not on drugs except pain medicine when needed. When I relaxed, fixed my gaze on the spiritual eye and "let go," I began to have a life-changing experience that stays with me to this day. Because the total experience is so very personal, I shall not relate all the scenes my spirit was guided through. However, I was with Master and I knew I was safe.

It all began with music and instructions being sung to me that no one else could hear. After a short time I felt a warm, soft hand take mine and was told not to be afraid. I then saw Paramahansaji smiling and reassuring me. He asked me to go with him. Extreme peace and joy stayed with me the entire five days of this experience. I was so very happy. All the questions I had in my mind for many years were answered mentally.

As I held on to Master's hand we traveled a long, long way through dark space until I was placeced on an extremely large white wing. Other hands held me onto the wing as I was assured I would not fall. All the while singing voices were "instructing" me, and Master held firmly to my hand. He would smile and change his appearance; I said, "Master,they won't recognize you-you'd better stay the same." He laughed and appeared to me as he was in his 1920 picture wearing the turban. He said, "l like being this way most."

On the great wing I was transported from place to place. I viewed scenes, people, and actions as on a giant oval movie screen. I heard voices from the past of people I had known. I heard people praying for me by name. Each prayer was "received" as a white feather placed on the great white wing upholding me. I was shown that prayers are substance. They uphold you and your dear ones. I was taken through many experiences where I saw heavenly sights. I heard supportive comments about good things I had done throughout my life. I realized that life is one great continuum in eternity. After traveling very far I was led up to great massive heavenly gates. There were two long lines of people awaiting their "turn." As I moved up in line I heard the voice of my son, Peter, calling for me to come back. (He was not in the hospital room nor in the state of Washington. He was praying for me in California.) He told me he needed me.

Then I was asked if I wanted to come back. I said, "Yes,my son needs me." I was then told that I must bring a message back to tell specific people. That message was that we must forgive those who have hurt us. To forgive is to be forgiven! I was asked not to reveal the entire experience, but pass on the message of forgiveness. Since that time I have gone back in my life's memory, forgiven those who have hurt me, and asked forgiveness for my transgressions. Because I have done these things, I am more at peace than ever before.

This experience has changed my life. I now evaluate my actions, thoughts, and words and ask myself if I am being what God intended us to be. Peace has become mine more and more.

At this writing I am faced with more tests physically and emotionally. Master's words ring in my ear, "Meditate, meditate, meditate!" I am convinced we receive help from God, Christ, and Guru when we call on Them in prayer. Don't forget - prayers are real "things" that uphold us. I also know that one day Master will return to me with his hand extended and, at that time, I will take it happily and return to God.

The above text is available in a book called:

A Testimony of Love and Devotion by Mary Peck Stockton

Available at the below website.

http://www.consciouslivingfoundation.net/product_info.php?products_id=13793303

Here it is Brother Bhaktananda chant in mp3 files- Divine Mother come to me

Dear Everyone:

..brotherji’s chant has been roaming in our hearts 24-7 the past 10 days ...

We are thrilled to share with you such a touching chant so you too can feel the tremendous bliss that can be experienced by chanting it all day and all night long...what a gift from Heaven ....it feels like Br. is singing to us from the Heavens ins't it???

"Divine Mother Come To Me.

Reveal Thyself.

Thou Art Mine, and I am Thine.

We Are One, are entwined."

Track 1
Track 2

 

 

Brother Turyiananda Stories

Dear Divine Friends: I was a hippie kid with no hope of ever getting to know him or working with him. A couple of Convocations later when I wanted to stay in California and not go back to the bad environment of college, Bro. Dharmananda gave me the job of working with Bro. Turiyananda. I took Bro. Nakulananda’s place as garden assistant and Bro. Nakulananda went into Postulant Training in Encinitas.

I recall once Brother Nakulananda was working on the west side of the Windmill Chapel when he fell backwards into the Lake. T (short for Turiyanandaji) and I ran to him. He said he was fine, and I looked to where he had fallen eight feet into water that was about 5 inches deep with sharp rocks. I said "how is it you’re fine - look!" And Bro. Nakulananda said “I felt like a huge hand had gently placed me into the water.”

I thought that Brother Nakulananda was overstating the facts until one day T and I were chopping down a tree with a chain saw. I was pushing the tree in a direction and T had the Stihl chainsaw. The tree snapped and the chainsaw ended up on my right thigh - grinding to a halt. T completely flipped out and grabbed my leg as I assured him I was fine; my jeans were in shreds. T ripped open my pants even more and couldn’t believe his eyes - I wasn’t even scratched.

When I first started working at the Lake I lived in my van for a couple of weeks, it took some time to get it together in the morning for work. I recall one of the first days I was about ten minutes late. Well you should have heard Brother Turiyananda - you would’ve thought I killed someone. He lectured me for about half an hour on the importance of being on time - that it was a reflection of my attitude and my approach to life. That it was rude and inconsiderate. I wasn’t used to such discipline, but now I see how priceless it was - not only am I not sensitive about introspection, but also from that day forward I’ve never been late for work. In fact, throughout my life I have always begun my work at least ten minutes early, and meditations early. Turiyanandaji himself would awake at 5:00 a.m. every morning or earlier to meditate and always started work early with full-blown enthusiasm - for work and for life!!

The story of Brother Turiyananda and the Hindu Pundit with the entourage. Brother and I were weeding the hillside just to the left of Krishna - somewhere along there. A Hindu gentleman asked of me if the Minister-in-Charge was around. I told him no, but pointed out that Brother Turiyananda was the Assistant Minister. Brother Turiyananda introduced himself as "Swami Turiyananda" and asked how he could help the Hindu gentleman. The man said, "I have a question. I read in your Guru's "Autobiography of a Yogi" that Babaji materialized a golden palace in the Himalayas. Well, I DO NOT BELIEVE IT!!!" Brother T meekly shrugged his shoulders and said, "You don't have to believe it." Brother then turned his back on the man and his entourage and started weeding the hillside again. I was wondering what the man would do or say, but there was little he could say with Bro. T bending over, back to him, and so the man & his group were left with no one to debate except Brotherji's rear end.

Brother Turiyananda had a problem with cars parking in a "No Parking" area in the Lake Shrine parking lot. It was a little triangular area lined with a "No Parking" painted on it right by the "Divine Mother" arbor roof; the arbor itself is in the Sunken Garden. The problem was that cars parking there partway blocked the lot. Well, once Rich Sennett was at the Lake with his big boulder truck, "Bedrock Boulder Company." Rich would go up the canyon across the street, bring back these huge rocks and we would sled them down the hillside to where the Krishna statue is now. The boulders were used to build Krishna Falls. Brother T. had this great idea: He had Rich drop this huge boulder in the parking lot right where those cars illegally parked. He thought "No way anyone parks there anymore. End of problem." Well, not an hour after Rich had put the boulder there, Brotherji walks out into the parking lot and someone had parked a motorcycle right behind the rock. Brotherji said, "Divine Mother never ceases to play with me." We laughed and laughed about that. They dug up the parking lot around the rock and made it a planter. I think Brother Ramananda had ivy grown up the sides of it, as it looked like a skull. When Ma and Ananda Mata saw it, they said, "Well, it looks like a nice rock, but we don't know if it goes there." Well, it was too big to move without Rich, and so it's still there. (Since this posting, the parking lot was repaved and the rock was moved.)

At Lake Shrine in the 70’s we worked out a lot of physical karma - digging irrigation ditches, building rock walls, chopping out jungle on the hillsides, etc. We used to say that instead of Hironyloka, we had landed on Hernia-loka. I was amazed when I first arrived at the huge amount of physical work accomplished by both Bro. Dharmananda and Turiyananda.

Once when Daya Mata was at the Lake looking over the progress of various projects, she noted the large number of reeds between the Gandhi Shrine and the houseboat. She told Bro. Turiyananda that because they blocked the view of devotees walking along, they should be removed. Brother told me, “Because Daya Mata asked, I will remove them myself - and believe me this is the worst job!” I wondered why until Brother and I got in the water and started digging the reeds out with maddaxes (pickaxes). With every swing as the maddax would hit the water, the most grotesque, smelly, gaseous mud would splash into our faces. We would swing a few times, and then throw the reeds onto the path. We stank, the path stank, and in fact the whole Lake Shrine smelled like a sewer. The strange thing is that we felt so much joy, so much so that with every swing and splash we would break up laughing. Right in the middle of this project a fine English lady showed up and asked, “Aren’t you Brother Turiyananda? I desperately need to talk with you.” At that point Brotherji was up to knees in slime. He had on black rubber boots, blue gym shorts, a white T-shirt that was brown with mud, his wrap-around sunglasses, and his blue baseball cap. I’ll never forget the scene of it: Brother T with mud all over his face sitting on a bench across from a perfectly dressed British lady. Steve Wilkinson (of Hidden Valley) took a photo of it. And Brother smelled soooooooo bad - it’s hard to describe. After a while, Brother came back into the water and said that the lady had been confused by someone and had quit doing her Kriyas. He had renewed her faith in her Guru and Kriya; I could see it on the lady’s face as she left - she was soooooo happy and relieved.

Once we obtained some chicken for a Lake Shrine cat, and Brother Turiyananda found the wishbone. He immediately challenged Brother Anandamoy to a pull - the winner, Brother Turiyananda declared, would be Master’s servant next life. They recruited me to judge the winner of this immortal contest. They pulled and the wishbone broke. I placed the two halves side by side on the dinning room table and they were exactly equal - so I said, "you will both serve our Guru in your next life."

Brother Turiyananda used to joke that he was writing his own autobiography, He called it “Autobiography of a Swiss Yogi, or How I Obtained Humility.” He said it was about 560 pages long - and especially long was the first chapter, “My Parents and Early Life or Who Cares?” He later changed the title to “How I Obtained Humility, Lost It, and Found Humility Again.” I must say that Brother Turiyananda was one of the most interesting and funniest persons I’ve ever known. He would say to Brother Anandamoy, “I am proud to say I am humbler than you - and very proud that I’m the humblest man in SRF!” Speaking of his parents and early life, he was from Geneva, Switzerland, and knew Brother Santoshananda in his pre-monastic life. He used to say Brother Premamoy was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and he was born with a wooden spoon in his mouth as his family was very poor.

As a young man he bought a BMW motorcycle and drove to the Mediterranean on it. Brother Santoshananda said that once he went to see Turiyanandaji in his restaurant and he was sitting at a table reading the Autobiography of a Yogi. He told Bro. Santoshananda, “this book will change your life.” He told Brother Santoshananda he had found his Guru. Later, when Swami Ram Dass came to Switzerland, Brother T felt the spiritual vibrations of that soul and immediately went into a deep spiritual state - that’s when T asked the Swami to take him to India. The swami said, "but you have a Guru." T said: "my Guru's dead." The swami said firmly: "YOUR GURU IS ALIVE. YOU ARE DEAD. He later applied and was accepted to become a monk of the SRF order in 1954. Bro. Premamoy, Bro. Abhedananda, and Bro. T all entered the ashram within a fortnight. They were called the 3 musketeers.

I also recall a small boy on the Court of Religions pulling on Brother Turiyananda’s pants leg and asking, “are you Kojack? At convocations he would routinely be surrounded by 30 to 50 people in any hallway, and Brotherji would be talking about anything from our Guru to Madonna. He was very conservative and very opinionated.

One Saturday morning as we began work around 9:00 a.m., Brother Turiyananda was standing on the Court of Religions looking at the Gandhi Shrine with his hands on his hips. I was walking across the Court of Religions at the time and he said to himself, “who is that?” He turned to me, and said “Jonny, get that guy out of here!” I didn’t understand as Brotherji had never said anything like this before. I went over the Gandhi lawn and found a man sitting on the lawn in lotus posture; he had matted hair and a beard. He looked like some kind of yogi. I politely explained to him that we had a wedding beginning at 10:00 a.m. and other weddings would follow, and thus he had to leave the lawn area. Despite my entreaty, the man immediately engaged me in a spiritual discussion. In the vaguest terms, he wanted to know what is religion, why my religion was asking him to leave the Gandhi lawn. I was still trying to peacefully get him off the lawn when Brother Turiyananda BURST onto the Gandhi lawn and despite it being a world peace shrine, told the man to get up and leave the lawn area. Whenever the man tried to use his “philosophical” tongue on Brotherji, he cut him off. Then I was very surprised when (1) the man started cursing out Brother Turiyananda; and (2) Brotherji started pushing the man up the hill toward the gate. I was shocked by the things the man was saying, and wondering how Brotherji knew (from across the lake on the Court of Religions) that this man was crazy. But this wasn’t the only surprise: Brotherji physically pushed the man out the gate, and even though a wedding was about to start in less than an hour, Brotherji closed and locked the gate in the man’s face. Brotherji stood there until the man walked away.
Brotherji first told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to be tougher with people (hey I was about 22-years old); and secondly to stay there for a while, then open the gate and stay there to make sure the man did not come back. Needless to say, in my four years of serving at the Lake Shrine, this was the only time anything like that occurred. We did routinely throw people out at night - mainly lovers, skinny-dippers, and fishermen - but everyone was pretty cool. In retrospect, even though the younger man's look and initial demeanor was "holy," Brother T in his jeans and firey attitude was by far the holier of the two - but then again looks (in this world of maya) are deceiving.

It was interesting at the Lake Shrine when the Directors of SRF would arrive - it was like the whole place would be instantly transported to an astral world where joy and intuitive-like harmony existed. To set up this story let me set the scene: The area where Krishna Falls exists now was called Krishna Falls even before the falls and before Krishna were there. What was there was basically a valve to let a small amount of City water into the Lake from time to time. This was because when Sunset had been widened to 5 lanes, the City had cut off most of the underground streams feeding the Lake. The streams come out of the canyon under Palisades Highlands Drive across the street. There is actually a huge cavern under Sunset Blvd. carrying the water straight down the street to the ocean. Well, I don’t know how it all started, but I recall Janet Mayall, who arranged the flowers in those days, wrote in one of the last concrete block-steps before the bridge, “Krishna + Radha" (she wrote it while the cement was wet). Also, it may have been because above the falls (a trickle), there was a tumal tree (like in the chant, “My Krishna’s Blue”). Well anyway, back to the Directors (Daya Mata, Mrinalini Mata, Ananda Mata and Uma Mata). Someone had donated the Krishna statue to the Lake, and the Directors were to come out to help find a spot for it. We poured a concrete stand in the middle of the hillside to the right of where “Fort Bliss” now stands (the meditation bench with logs) and when the Directors came Steve Wilkinson played Krishna and got on this stand. The Directors stood on the Shrine lawn and kept telling Wilk to move to the right, and move to the right, until he was standing on top of the tamal tree stump (it had died and was cut down). Ma said, “yes, that’s the spot and build a bigger waterfall there also." To bring Brother Turiyananda into this story, Brotherji said when he first joined SRF he felt no attraction for Lord Krishna. Then at a Jamastami Service at the altar he looked into the eyes of the Lord Krishna and heard the words, “don’t you know who I am.” From that time on, he became a lover of Lord Krishna.

Another short story: Brother Turiyananda said that he had had a dream where he was in a large hall with the Gurus standing around with him kneeling on the floor in the middle. Our Guru came forward and knighted Brother Turiyananda and blessed him. He said that Master had given him some weapons and armor. He said that Master had put some light armor on him and he never knew what it was until he was in a castle or church in France and saw the same thing mounted on a wall. He learned that at the turn of the last millennium soldiers used that light armor, which was made of leather, to ward off arrows (to prevent one from getting an “arrow shirt”).

Brotherji was full on enthusiasm about work, spiritual routine, and about fun too. Brotherji would swim in the Lake, regularly shoot bow and arrow, and jogged and walked - all this with his regular hard work!! He also loved a good meal - loved to laugh, and even loved samurai movies and the like - he loved anything that would inspire him or make him laugh. Now and then for fun Brotherji would cook a good meal and watch a video. Some of Brotherji’s favorites: Somewhere in Time; 1941, The Seven Samurai; Dr. Strangelove; Paint Your Wagon; Patton; The Longest Day; The Battle of the Bulge; Lawrence of Arabia; A Man for All Seasons.

He also loved martial arts and practiced them. Br. Jay was once a guest speaker at the Lake when he was in the room above the Windmill Chapel on a back swing (upside down) when the door flew open and in flew Brother Turiyananda practicing various martial arts moves. When he saw Br. Jay, he stopped and said, “so sorry,” bowed low, Japanese style, and exited the room.

A lady once came to the Lake Shrine to commit suicide by jumping in the Lake. Brother Turiyananda said to her, “come let’s talk; I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” As any here who ever had it can attest, Bro. Turiyananda’s coffee could “wake the dead.” He had this beautiful Italian espresso maker which would spout this rich, jet black, strong coffee. Well, Brotherji took the lady into his kitchen and made her a cup of his coffee and talked to her for about an hour. I was outside working and after a while I could hear them laugh - I thought, “Now this is a miracle.” Brother Anandamoy said later, “Turiyananda, you have to teach me to make coffee.”

 

I recall his booming voice in a two-hour meditation, "THERE ARE PEOPLE SLEEPING IN THIS TEMPLE. Awake, awake in God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The months before Brother Turiyananda’s passing he was in generally good health. He did have a gall bladder operation and would show anyone his scar in the Lake Shrine parking lot. He did go through a lot of pain with that. The day before his passing I saw him and he seemed very happy and the picture of good and robust health. He had said a various times before his death, “if I get to the other side (in meditation), I will beg Master to stay,” and to his friends: “first one across helps the rest.”

On Sunday morning of his passing Brother Ramananda did not hear Brother stirring above (Brother Ramananda lived in the room directly above the Windmill Chapel and Bro. T lived in the top of the windmill). Brother Turiyananda was supposed to give the service that morning. Brother Ramananda went up to investigate and found Brother T lying on his futon with a book and glasses on the floor by his side, a sweet smile on his face. He lay below his special altar - Divine Mother in the middle and the Gurus on the sides.

A friend of Brother and Head Usher at the Lake at that time, was allowed to go up and see Brotherji’s body. He later described a room full of joy - and the look of perfect peace on Brotherji’s face. He immediately marched out to the parking lot and called me in Encinitas. I, in turn, called some friends/Swamis at the Encinitas Ashram - so in a matter of minutes the friends of Bro. T knew the news and were meditating to tune in with him and say goodbye. Bro. Ramananda led a prayer and meditation service for Bro. T that morning at the Lake also.

Brother Devananda was given the task of organizing the memorial service of Brother Turiyananda and he had to move its location three times to try to accommodate the expected throngs. In all over 1200 people attended (standing room only) and Brother Bhaktananda and Brother Santoshananda spoke. It's hard to personally describe the emotions of that day, being a yogi and knowing about reincarnation and the like, but the emotions were high in that hall. I have never felt such love and fellowship. It’s funny but sometimes you don’t realize how much someone means to your life until they’re gone. My world seemed to be crumbling in that service - like my spiritual father had died. It was an open casket service, and I filed by with everyone else. I couldn’t even look down at T’s body because I knew that was not really him, but I stood at attention and saluted, as I did so my legs buckled and like magic my friends were there to put their arms around me and carry me outside - tears streaming down my face. Even now thinking about it - I feel the same ...

I so admired Brother for the spiritual warrior he was - the battles he had won. Brother Turiyananda was manically depressed at Mt. Washington in the late 60's; he was a minister. He was sent to the Lake Shrine and resigned as a minister. He built those rock walls around the Lake with Bro. Dharmananda. He chanted in his mind: "GOD, CHRIST, GURUS," over and over. He climbed out of the pit of depression and became a minister again - he inspired thousands with his love, his joy. To this day, hundreds remember him as one who inspired them to seek God, to live life.

I dreamt of him a few months ago. He was chanting in an astral temple not unlike the windmill chapel - he was chanting to the Mother Divine. I was sitting behind him - both of us facing an altar. Brother was wearing an orange robe and I thought, "he's still a monk; he's renounced all else but his love of the Mother." He had long brown hair combed back. Divine Mother had given his hair back!

WISDOM OF BROTHER TURIYANANDA

When this “I” shall die, then who the heck am I?

When your wife is right, apologize; when you’re right, keep you mouth shut!

Regarding death to his friends: “First one to the other side helps the rest.”

BANAT, BANAT, BANZAI!!!

 

THE WISDOM OF DURGA MA

Daya Ma, Gyanamata and Durga Ma.

Note—I had the great blessing of meeting Durga Ma in 1977 when she became my spiritual counselor and spiritual mother. Our relationship remained until her earthly passing in 1993. In our many meetings, she spoke of private matters that I can not reveal. She also offered wisdom that is applicable to SRF members. Here are some of her most important words of wisdom. Please note that she NEVER took any credit for herself—she attributed everything to Master. Durga Ma was one of Master’s early and close disciples. She often said that she was an empty shell for Master, and that we, too, should strive to be the same. K. Dardick

Be happy— Ma Durga ended every counseling session with the admonition to “be happy. When you’rehappy, God is with you. When you’re happy all the time, God is with you all the time.” You may ask, “how does this match with Master telling us this world is not our home?” Durga Ma explained that Master didn’t tell us not to be happy. God is in the world, too. He made it. Wherever God is, we’re happy. He put us here (on Earth) to be able to be happy. If we’re not happy here, then we won’t be happy in the astral. Being happy, interiorized, is being in tune with God.


Meditation—depth of concentration is more important than the length. Control our thoughts so we’re not slaves to our minds. God doesn’t discipline or punish us. God doesn’t force us to change—he gave us free will. But our failure to change results in our suffering. Also, meditation is the process. Don’t look for results while meditating. Results come afterward—like calmness, happiness and balance in living. She emphasized the value of Kriya Yoga. Though it seems like a simple technique, it is very, very powerful. It clears debris (seeds of past karma) from the subconscious mind.

The Mind --The mind has to be calm and collected for God to come. That’s what meditation is for—to train the mind. It is so subtle
because God is subtle. So meditate every day to calm the mind.


A thought is made of light; this is why thoughts are so powerful. Thoughts are fast and furious, like a comet and its tail. But they come one by one. She said we are not responsible for the first thought (because of so many factors that can cause it), but we are for the second and each thought thereafter. Thought is
consciousness—all comes from God initially, but it depends on what we do with it. Avoid dissecting. By that she meant not to over-think or over-analyze. She used the example of a rose blossom. Enjoy the beauty of the rose. But if one picks it apart, petal by petal, the beauty and the blossom are destroyed. So it is with God and meditation.

Be careful what we think because God does give it to us, even when we don’t want it anymore.

Positive-negative: apply principle of changing the thought. For example, if our mind insists on playing negative thought tapes, make the effort to change to
positive. She encouraged us to use affirmations, like “I am free! I am free!”


Another way to control the mind is through chanting. Durga Ma was skilled at chanting. She told me “that is how I got there” (meaning that is how she found God). Master started the custom of her chanting Divine Love Sorrows during the all-day Christmas Meditations. She taught us to chant with feeling and deep concentration. And she encouraged us to chant whenever we could, when we had free time. If other people were around, she said for us to chant mentally. It keeps the mind focused on God and develops devotion.


God made the ego so He can use it. Let Him.

It is a sin to force our will on another person. Don’t do it.

Spiritual path—obedience (to Master) is the most powerful (thing) on the spiritual path.

Don’t do negative affirmations of how difficult something is. Don’t look for results when meditating. Enjoy whatever God gives. Be as good as you possibly can, and then act naturally.


LIVING IN THE WORLD—evil is all around us. Don’t get disturbed by it or we’ll always be disturbed. Millions of souls are waiting to reincarnate on Earth in a body. Only the strong make it. Good souls come back faster so they can work out their karma and God wants them back and arranges it so they can return to Him faster.

The way to live a balanced life is not to want things from anyone. When we get emotional, we don’t think clearly. Remain calm at all times so we can think clearly. Bad habits—we talk ourselves into them, now talk ourselves out of them—e.g. fear or anger.

Live from moment to moment. She often said “Take it as it comes”, meaning do not worry about the future.

SRF—Durga Ma said “it takes a special incarnation to come to these teachings.” In 1980 or so, she said “all who are in SRF now have been with Master in the past (previous incarnations).

WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE IN HER PRESENCE

Durga Ma radiated wisdom and great love. Seeing her in her apartment on the fourth floor of Mother Center was like going to heaven. All problems melted
away in her presence. Divine love and joy permeated the apartment. She had keen insight and was very practical. No detail escaped her notice. Sometimes she spoke sharply. She remarked that “it takes a thorn to remove a thorn”. However, she wouldn’t counsel anyone unwilling to be corrected. If we objected or started to argue, she said in a remote tone, “do as you please”. She wouldn’t impose her will. But because she could see things objectively, following her guidance always led to the best outcomes.


I once commented that I want to be like you, and she said “you all have the privilege to work as I did”, meaning, we have our Guru and the meditation
techniques. Apply them

 

The following inspiring excerpt is from the fall 2008 Self Realization magazine, taken from a talk given by Paramahansa Yogananda in Encinitas. California

"I remember one boy in my school was accused of some wrong act. The teachers felt it was sufficiently serious that they wanted me to expel him. That would have meant that for four years he could not get into any other school.

I said, ”I won’t do that to him; I cannot sponsor such an idea. He may have done wrong, but I shall reason with him and forgive him, “There was a big commotion of disagreement. So I said to the teachers: “Remember all the things that you have done during and since your childhood. Can you tell me you have never done anything reprehensibly wrong?” They all hung their heads. “If that boy were your son, would you send him out?”

No one spoke. I said,” He is my son, and I will hear him.”

So I called this boy to me; he came in very defiant: "Go ahead, I know you are going to throw me out.”

“What makes you think so?” I replied. Again he challenged me rebelliously: “Go ahead.” I replied, “How Childish of you. You have done wrong, and you are proud of it. What is the matter with you? Suppose you did do wrong, that doesn’t mean you have to do wrong again.”

He hung his head. “Don’t do it again,” I said. He looked at me like the little child that he was. “You mean you won’t send me away?”

“You know that what you did was wrong, don’t you?”

He said, “Yes”

“Isn’t that enough?” I said.

“Don’t repeat it.”

Tears came in his eyes and he told me, “You know, I had made up my mind that if you sent me away, I would use my life to do all the evil things that I could.” Then he went on, “I am sorry for what I have done, and promise you that I will never do it again.”

Years later when I went to India, I learned that he had gone to England to further his education and opportunities. He now had a successful career, was very spiritual, and had a wonderful family. He came to me in tears and said, “Do you remember me?” I greeted him lovingly. He said, “That day that you forgave me made me what I am today. It is all due to your faith in me.” He embraced me and cried like a child.

If I had sent that young boy away from my school, he would not have become the remarkable man his is. He would have been nothing today. So remember, love changes people; their part is to repent of their wrongdoing and cultivate discrimination and won’t power to guide their future behavior.

My Memories of ParamahansaYogananda
by Mary Peck Stockton

As a very young child I was introduced into the world of Self-Realization Fellowship and its beloved guru, Paramahansa Yogananda. In 1932 my mother attended one of Paramahansaji's lectures at the U. S. Grant Hotel in San Diego, California. She was transformed by his words. Following the lecture, as was his practice, he stood at the front of the hall andreceived well-wishers. My mother went forward to shake his hand and, she felt, to receive a blessing. At a later meeting he healed a festered boil on her leg instantaneously. I was not present at that incident but she excitedly related it to me. She read his materials and began to meditate, which I, as an eight-year-old child, never questioned but wondered what she was "up to."

At some point, my mother began to take my brother and me to the Sunday meetings. It is not clear in my memory where we first attended services. I know that as a young child I was curious as to why we went to a church where the "minister" wore an orange robe. My brother and I had been attencling a Lutheran church near our home in San Diego. Now we went to "lectures" by Swami Yogananda - an experience very different from the sermons at our regular Sunday school. Paramahansaji repeatedly told us, "l'm nott preaching a sermon; rather,I am teaching you how to know God."

His very appearance made me feel in awe of him. He was kingly in his carriage,and stood straight always. He was full-bodied (a mark of beauty in India) and was taller than my father who was about average height. Over his ochre robe was a large scarf held in place at the left shoulder with an SRF lotus pin. His hands were soft, warm. and full. His dark hair fell in waves down to his shoulders and beyond. He had a habit of brushing his hair frorn in front of his shoulders to the back. His skin was light brown, smooth, and soft-caramel-colored and without wrinkles. At times during his lecture, he would delight the audience when, with twinkling eyes, he would say, "You can't tell how old I am." Truly, he retained his youthful countenance. Master always preceded his lectures with the question to the congregation: "How is everyone? Are you awake and ready?" As one voice, we would answer affirmatively! He wanted no one "sleeping" while he offered God's message to them. Master's voice, well-modulated, rose and fell to express the internal feelings he projected. His voice would range from whispered phrases to a great booming volume. It certainly commanded attention and kept the listeners "awake and ready."

One day I saw him studying me. I don't believe anyone or anything escaped his interest and attention. I felt he was always watching over me, and to this day I am comforted by that thought. I also
remember, distinctly, seeing a lovely young woman who was efficient and eager to abide by the Swami's directions. She went about her tasks quietly and with ease. A look of joy enveloped her countenance. This person was Miss Faye Wright who was to become our beloved Sri Daya Mata.

Before the SRF temple in San Diego was acquired in 1943, my mother, brother, and I attended services at Encinitas every Sunday. Paramahansaji was so very pleased when the beautiful temple was built on top of the cliffs overlooking the ocean.* He wanted to share that beauty of the scene with the church attendees, and so the temple had ceiling-to-floor tinted windows that captured the view of his beloved ocean. The platform was in front of the windows. Master sat to the right of the congregation. From that position he would play the harmonium and sing fully and passionately. He usually ended the sessions with "ln the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea....Glory, glory, hallelujah...." He sang with such gusto and feeling that it stirred all the audience as he urged us to join in. Everything he did was done with great energy, which flowed from him into the participants. His sincerity spread throughout the listerning audience, gathering all into the power and presence always evident in the room. During the meditation portion of the service he was quiet for a long time. I remember hearing him say: "Christ is here blessing you - l see you all bathed in a great light - you are blessed by being here." One would leave the services with great spiritual upliftment that would stay for a long time.

A demonstration of his generosity came home to me one Sunday in Encinitas. My mother went forward to shake his hand. She told Master that we had very little money for food. The dear saint reached into his pocket, extended his hand, and crumpled some paper money into my mother's hand. He was openly warm to all people and extended his warmth at every opportunity. I remember, so vividly, Master's walks on the Encinitas grounds with Mr. James Lynn (Rajarsi Janakananda). Such radiance exchanged between the two of them. When I matured I began to understand the joy emanating from the pair. Their friendship was so strong, loving, and childlike in the best sense of the word. God's presence was visible in their faces as well as being felt by us who saw them together.

I was particularly impressed with the quality of people I met at SRF. They were so sincere, loving, and intelligent. In the Master's audiences one saw doctors, attorneys, professors,and a variety of people from all walks of life. As I acquainted myself with many of his followers, they became my life's role models. I find the same wonderful qualities I admired in my youth still remaining in the people I encounter in SRF today. Paramahansa Yogananda was larger than life blessed all of humanity with his love and blessings.

Galli-Curci, a famous diva of the Metropolitan Opera, was a long time student and friend of Master's. She and her husband could sometimes be seen20in attendance at the San Diego. My life's burning ambition at that time was to be an opera singer. I felt life would not be worth living if I couldn't get to sing proffessionally. I was in my teens and certainly bitten by the performing "bug." One Sunday Master asked me to sing at the service. "Piece of cake," I said to myself. I had been singing in public and professionally since I was five years old, so this request did not throw me. Time for the service arrived; I was directed to my place on the dais next to Master. That day Madame Galli-Gurci was in attendance. During the meditation period Master asked me, "you see him? Do you see Sri Yukteswarji?" I replied', No, but I see his Guru, the one with the full face." I had seen Lahiri Mahasaya. Master said nothing further to me. The time came for me to get up and sing. Master had said previously, "Sing only for God - not the audience." Well, that's what I thought I was doing! So I opened my mouth awaiting the first dulcet tone to be forthcoming. What came out astounded me. I sounded like a croaking frog! None of the vocal tricks I'd learned to help clear my throat worked. I tried to sing to no avail. I sat down silent and dejected. Years later I heard the story about the disciple who asked Master to let him perform yoga postures at an SRF event, wanting egotistically to be noticed (as told by Brother Anandamoy on the cassette recording, "The Importance of a True Guru"). Master permitted him to do so, but when the time came this young man found himself completely unable to do some of the exercises! When I heard this, a big light went on in my memory, and I thought of my ill-starred performance. I started to laugh - Master was teaching me not to be ego-involved with my voice! What a hard lesson for a young girl, but one I shall never forget. Needless to say, Madame had no words of praise for me! I am still chuckling to myself now as I write this.

Master had an endearing mannerism that he used often. He would preface remarks intended to teach a point with the phrase, "You know..." His forefinger would be extended to emphasize what he wanted the student to learn or respond to, and his voice would rise in volume at the end of the admonition. One day during greeting time he raised the "teaching finger" and said to me: "You know, you need to lose flesh." That's all he said. I was quite overweight in my high school days, and I knew this gem from Master should be attended to. By the end of the ensuing year I had removed sixty pounds of unwanted "flesh." I'm sure I was receiving help and support for my efforts from Master. To this day I maintain a normal weight. When Master gave direction to a disciple, one would feel not only compelled to follow the valuable advice but blessed with the ability to do so.

I corresponded with Paramahansaji and Sri Daya Mata from 1947 on. I received from them, in return, letters that gave me guidance in answer to my questions. Sad to report, I lost most of the letters from Master in a flood, as well as an autographed copy of his Autobictgraphy of a Yogi. His signature was always preceded with "Unceasing Blessings." Sri Daya Mata has continued to offer me and my family love and guidance to this day. Her letters are filled with overpowering love that pours out and touches my heart. Whenever I have requested supportive prayers to help me through the varied tests of my life, she and SRF have always been there offering me hope, guidance, and support. Truly, Self-Realization Fellowship has shaped and guided my entire life.

The final opportunity for me to see Master in person was in November of 1949. My husband and I had been offered positions in Washington State. We were traveling by car to move there permanently. I had a strong desire to stop in Los Angeles to say good-bye to Master. He was kind enough to receive me. He was always so busy and I certainly would have understood had he found it necessary to refuse me. I know truly, he watches over all his little lambs and no one is greater or less than another.

When I was shown to the reception room on the top floor of the Headquarters, he was seated in a large armchair. Mementos of his trip to India were displayed around the room. The long woven scarf, often draped over his shoulders, was placed on the back of his chair. I immediately noticed that his body and face were thinner than the time I had previously seen him. His face was very serene. A slight smile crossed his lips as I stood before his quiet presence. He asked me about rny plans for the future. As he listened patiently, another smile came forth as he told me news that, at that time, I didn't know. He informed me I was going to have a baby boy and that he would always, spiritually, watch over him. I had not entered his room knowing I was pregnant. As I recall, he described what my baby would look like. He then asked me to send20a picture of him when he was born. Needless to say I remembered Master's words when Peter, my son, was born. I did keep my promise to send Master a picture. He did keep his promise to watch over him.

While living and working in Washington State I continued my correspondence with Paramahansaji. He was my anchor in a world that presented many tests to me. His major message throughout all was, "Meditate, meditate, meditate!" Over the years I have been helped through many major illnesses. My spirit remains undaunted because of the prayerful support I receive from Master and SRF.

In November 1983, I was facing major cancer surgery. I called SRF Headquarters for needed supportive prayer. During the period immediately following the surgery my prognosis was not good. I had lost an extremely large amount of blood. I was told that I might not live through many more days. So I lay back in my hospital bed and gave myself completely to God, telling Him that I was ready and willing to come Home. I was fully awake and not on drugs except pain medicine when needed. When I relaxed, fixed my gaze on the spiritual eye and "let go," I began to have a life-changing experience that stays with me to this day. Because the total experience is so very personal, I shall not relate all the scenes my spirit was guided through. However, I was with Master and I knew I was safe.

It all began with music and instructions being sung to me that no one else could hear. After a short time I felt a warm, soft hand take mine and was told not to be afraid. I then saw Paramahansaji smiling and reassuring me. He asked me to go with him. Extreme peace and joy stayed with me the entire five days of this experience. I was so very happy. All the questions I had in my mind for many years were answered mentally. As I held on to Master's hand we traveled a long, long way through dark space until I was placed on an extremely large white wing. Other hands held me onto the wing as I was assured I would not fall. All the while singing voices were "instructing" me, and Master held firmly to my hand. He would smile and change his appearance; I said, "Master, they won't recognize you - you'd better stay the same." He laughed and appeared to me as he was in his 1920 picture wearing the turban. He said, "l like being this way most." On the great wing I was transported from place to place. I viewed scenes, people, and actions as on a giant oval movie screen. I heard voices from the past of people I had known. I heard people praying for me by name. Each prayer was "received" as a white feather placed on the great white wing upholding me. I was shown that prayers are substance. They uphold you and your dear ones. I was taken through many experiences where I saw heavenly sights. I heard supportive comments about good things I had done throughout my life. I realized that life is one great continuum in eternity. After traveling very far I was led up to great massive heavenly gates. There were two long lines of people awaiting their "turn." As I moved up in line I heard the voice of my son, Peter, calling for me to come back. (He was not in the hospital room nor in the state of
Washington. He was praying for me in California.) He told me he needed me. Then I was asked if I wanted to come back. I said, "Yes, my son needs me." I was then told that I must bring a message back to tell specific people. That message was that we must forgive those who have hurt us. To forgive is to be forgiven! I was asked not to reveal the entire experience, but pass on the message of forgiveness. Since that time I have gone back in my life's memory, forgiven those who have hurt me, and asked forgiveness for my transgressions. Because I have done these things, I am more at peace than ever before.

This experience has changed my life. I now evaluate my actions, thoughts, and words and ask myself if I am being what God intended us to be. Peace has become mine more and more.

At this writing I am faced with more tests physically and emotionally. Master's words ring in my ear, "Meditate, meditate, meditate!" I am convinced we receive help from God, Christ, and Guru when we call on Them in prayer. Don't forget - prayers are real "things" that uphold us. I also know that one day Master will return to me with his hand extended and, at that time, I will take it happily and return to God.

Thought you may enjoy this video of Self Realization Fellowship in Encinitas.

Meditation at the Self Realization Fellowship in Encinitas

http://www.sdnn.com/sandiego/2009-07-24/blog/is-that-you-god/meditation-at-the-self-realization-fellowship-in-encinitas

Sri Daya Mata is a disciple of the Paramahansa Yogananda and President of Yogoda Sat-Sanga Society of India and Self-Realisation Fellowship of America.

Dear Friends, The following inspiring account was sent to me by a devotee friend in India.
Best Regards, G J

Reproduced from Ananda Varta., VOL VII No 3

February 12, 1959, was a wonderful day in my life, for on it I met a holy personage, the joy-permeated Ananda Mayee Ma! Many years ago, in Los Angeles, California, U.S.A., my blessed Gurudev, Paramahansa Yogananda, showed me a photograph of Ananda Mayee Ma and said to me "Strive to become like her." That memory has remained these many years in my heart, and on February 12th I met at last my Ideal in the mother-form.

A small group of us came to India from America in October 1958 to look after some organizational affairs of our Yogoda Sat-Sanga Society, founded in 1918 by Paramahansa Yogananda, with headquarters at Yogoda Math, Dakshineshwar. Knowing that Ananda Mayee Ma also has an asram very near Dakshineshwar, I secretly hoped that she might visit it during my stay in Calcutta. That desire was fulfilled, for on February 12th, I attended the Saraswati Puja at her asram, filled with expectancy. As my eyes first beheld the blessed Mother, it seemed that a great dart of love went out from her and struck my heart, leaving me transfixed. 1 remained in that state for some moments, eyes locked on the Mother, feeling great waves of love surging within me.

Later our party was asked to go to an open tent where the Mother was already seated on a dais. We were motioned to sit next to her. I could not take my eyes away from her sweet face, so enchantingly full of love. My tears flowed. She tossed flowers to our party. Sri Prabhas Chandra Ghose, Vice-President of Yogoda Sat-Sanga Society, then introduced me to Ananda Mayee Ma. The Mother placed a garland of yellow flowers around my neck and I was plunged into an ecstatic state. When I opened my eyes the Mother gazed long and lovingly into my eyes. What sweetness—what blessing ! I can say no more. She is a divine being.

We were served with prasad, while the Mother rested in her room; then we were told to go to the verandah where she would see us. I touched her in deepest reverence and love, just to have the blessing of her sacred hand. She put her hand over mine and gently stroked it. It seemed that my heart would burst with the love and joy that filled it. My tears could not be stemmed in this holy presence that so tangibly reminds us of the great Universal Mother of us all.

On the morning of February 13th our party again visited the Mother. She was seated on a wooden bedstead. Our group made their pranamas and left gifts in front of her. I said, "0 Ma, we offer you these fruits and flowers on behalf of all the disciples of our Gurudev; Paramahansa Yogananda, as a token of our deep reverence for you. They are but an outward expression of the deep devotion we feel for the formless Divine Mother that dwells in you."

Later in the afternoon Ananda Mayee Ma was out walking on the lawn facing the Ganges. Some of our party went forward to take her picture. I remained in the back-ground deeply absorbed in that bliss within. As our group prepared to leave, I knelt silently on the grass, inwardly praying to the Lord within Ananda Mayee Ma for a blessing. I opened my eyes and saw her blessed tiny feet beside me. How tightly I held those feet within my mind and heart! I could not take my gaze away from them, because for months I had been inwardly crying to the Divine Mother to let me see Her Blue Lotus Feet. She had answered my prayer through Her child, Ananda Mayee Ma.

During one of our visits, I went to the main hall where the Mother meets the devotees each morning at eleven. The Mother was resting. Chitra, the young devotee who travels at times with the Mother, came and sat with us, asking questions about our work in America and about our way of life. I explained to her about our Gurudev’s training and how he had taught us to control the body and mind through yogic techniques so that we can go deep in meditation—that whenever we had stirred unnecessarily he would say: "Is your love for Divine Mother so superficial that you allow outer distractions to take your attention away from Her ?"

After a time Ananda Mayee Ma came in and took her seat on the dais. We sat quietly meditating while she listened to the people who had come for a darshan. How sweetly she smiled on each one ! At times her laughter rang out merrily. She is like a divine child.

Our party visited the asram of the Mother every day that she remained there. Later she went to Calcutta and on the evening of February 20th we went to the home where she was staying, to show her a motion picture film of herself and our Guruji, taken during his visit to India in 1936. Paramahansaji first met her then, in the Bhowanipur section of Calcutta. Later she visited him at his school for boys in Ranchi, Bihar.
Gurudev wrote a chapter about her sacred life, in his book,

"Autobiography of a Yogi." That book has now been translated into many Eastern and Western languages, and thus readers all over the world have come to know and revere Ananda Mayee Ma.

On February 21st our group attended a kirtan at the Calcutta home where the Mother was staying. Her devotee, Chitra told me that after the kirtan the Mother would see me in her room. When the chanting was over I went to her room. After a time the Mother entered, and as I opened my eyes to behold her, 1 noted her arms outstretched carrying a sari. How thankfully I received this blessing from her—one of her own cloths. She looked at me lovingly while I told her that I sought no counsel, I wanted nothing except love for the Universal Mother, to serve Her and my Gurudev until the last breath in my body. She smiled sweetly and replied, "Think of the Divine Mother in the morning, all day long, and the last thing at night." During this visit I said that I felt selfish that she had given me so much love and attention. She answered gently:

"No, that is not selfishness at all. It is selfishness when one’s attention is on the body, but your attention is fixed on this Self. It is not selfishness at all." What utter tranquility my soul felt in her presence.

Our final visit with the Mother was on February 23rd. She was to leave Calcutta early the next morning, and so a vast crowd, wishing for a darshan of her holy form, was present. The Mother had invited our group to see her at the home of a devotee. We went there and sat in front of her, meditating. I found, in Her holy and loving presence, that my consciousness became immediately withdrawn, centered upon the Beloved Mother. On this occasion, as I sat on the lawn, absorbed within, suddenly I felt a tremendous spiritual experience in my spine, centering at the heart chakra.

A feeling enveloped me of great, expanding peace, spiritual fulfillment and oneness with the Universal Mother. It seemed, too, that my heart would burst with the great surgings of love that flowed through it the sweetness of which flooded my eyes with streaming tears. After a time Chitra came up-to me and said that I might now present to Ananda Mayee Ma the offerings I had brought, red and pink roses and a silk chaddar. As I placed them at her feet, she removed from her neck a string of small rudraksha beads. She put them about my neck and said with great tenderness: "This daughter of yours ever lives in your heart."

During March and April our party from America traveled to north India. While we were in that area we made it a point to visit the blessed Mother again, this time in Rishikesh, during the "Week of Self-Restraint." How wise is the Mother to have inaugurated such a period every year, when devotees from far and near can gather about her to receive more concentrated spiritual nourishment from her motherly heart divine.

I had other opportunities to see the beloved Ma during this stay in Rishikesh, and above all, to meditate deeply in her presence. On one of these occasions I told her, "You have captured my heart." How sweet was her reply, when, like a tiny child, she said, "And I won’t give it back !"
During our visit to Rishikesh it seemed that the Mother could not do enough for us, through her wonderful devotees who looked after us. The more I saw of them the more I was impressed with their selfless spirit and devotion.

It happened that I was asked to speak before the gathering one evening. I was told that Mother would give me part of her time in the program. I was introduced to the assembly as a disciple of Pitaji Yogananda. I told the audience about Master’s limitless love for the Divine Mother, about his great task in the West to spread the message of Yoga. Then I dwelt on the duty of disciples—the duty to take up the mission of the Guru with ever-increasing zeal and selflessness. Having seen in India how devoutly saints are worshipped, I reminded the gathering that it is not enough to praise these saints and to seek their darshan; that we, the devotees and disciples, must use our lives rightly by striving to follow in their footsteps. Only by constant meditation and good actions may we become divine. The best way, by which we can truly appreciate what the great ones like my blessed Gurudev and Ananda Mayee Ma and other holy ones have to give us, is to become like them. I finished by saying that the only mission of such holy beings is to rouse in us the desire to find the Beloved within ourselves.

The next morning, after the meditation in the large hall with the Mother and her devotees, she placed around my neck a beautiful garland of roses As she gazed at me with the tenderness she showers on all, my eyes filled with tears. I was burning with the divine desire for the Divine Mother and with longing to serve my own beloved Gurudev’s work better and better, with greater humility, love and wisdom. All other thoughts were gone and my soul was afire. How can I ever forget those treasured moments spent with the Mother, and the words she uttered during our meetings, which are forever etched on my consciousness. Never can I forget her words, uttered at our last meeting, "The same spirit(bhava) that I saw in your Master, I see in you. With all of you who are devotees of Pitaji Yogananda, one feels here as if you were from his own asram." How deeply was I touched as she spoke of her regard for my Guru.

As we were leaving the asram, beholding for the last time the Mother’s soft, loving gaze, I thought of my blessed Guru, who had chosen, as an eternal example for us, this flower of divinity, Ananda Mayee Ma, through which we have beheld the spirit of the ancient, Holy India he loved so much, and which we too have come to love.

About Sister Shanti

This is being forwarded from another devotee:

I found these on the internet and thought you might enjoy this picture and stories.

Our dear and beloved Sister Shanti was truly divine. Did you know she had a career in show biz before finding the teachings? She and her brother were dancers in NYC; and, she was one of the first female theatrical directors there. And, she was an airplane pilot, too! (I asked her about the latter just a month before she left her body. She confirmed the fact. Such a privilege. Like a greedy one, I count up all the minutes I was blessed to be in her presence.) She has told us that she was a sort of "litmus test" devotee, having been one of the first to enter the ashram after Master left. Those in charge knew if she remained, other true devotees would follow.

The divine way she was drawn to the path is an amazing tribute to our Gurudeva's power and unconditional love. Here follows:

Sister lived in the Hollywood Hills with her mother, and she worked as a secretary at the Ambassador Hotel. On March 7th, 1952 she was carrying on her office duties when the phone rang.

She answered it and a secretary of a movie producer called and said, "I want to speak with Paramahansa Yogananda." The moment she heard his name in her ear, she said "a gong went off in my chest and I became immediately intoxicated." She told the secretary there was no one present with that name. The name kept reverberating in her consciousness "Paramahansa Yogananda! Paramahansa Yogananda!!" Then, she said she couldn't walk straight she was so drunk with love. "I didn't know why," she once said. Her supervisor saw this behavior and questioned her:

"What's wrong with you?! You act like you're in love!!" She said: "I AM!!

I'm in love!!" But she's quick to remind us: "I didn't know what I meant!" Then the phone rang again and it was the movie producer himself: "What name did my secretary give you?"

Sister replied: "Paramahansa Yogananda!!"

"That's funny," said the producer, "that's not who I wanted. She doesn't even know why she said that name!"

Sister Shanti has told us at the end of her desk, just on the other side of the wall, was Master. He was having breakfast that morning at the Ambassador Hotel, with Ambassador Sen from India!

A few days later, when she read of Paramahansaji's passing in the newspaper, she was shocked to say the least: "I've missed him!! I've missed him!! I've waited for him all my life and I've missed him!" She said she was crushed and felt like she'd lost her best friend; but, she still didn't know why, nor did it occur to her to look up anything he might've written. "All I knew was that I'd missed him." She said she felt like a volcano inside. She routed everything and everyone out of her life; everything was different.

She was "done with all THAT!" (Her well organized life and career). But not long after, she and her mother were in a library and the AY fell off the top shelf onto her head, and she accidentally kicked it. Her mother picked it up, and the two were amazed at what they found! They both read it and visited Hollywood temple. When she entered the temple, the eloquent peace and depth there, she knew: "I've come home. I've come home."

Years ago our meditation group came down on an Easter pilgrimage and stayed for a week at the Encinitas retreat. Many of us in the group were young and exuberant. One day we all drove up to Mother Center and spent a wonderful day there. In the evening we drove back to Encinitas. Us young ones were rather excited and feeling pretty good, and since we had missed the evening meal, we thought we'd all go out for pizza. I mean, this was going to be spiritual pizza, right? So we had our meal, pretty well demolished any spirit of silence we had been keeping during the week, and generally just had a fun time. Fully sated, we returned to the retreat. It was now about 7:30 p.m. Alas, the gates were closed; worse, the gates were also locked! What to do? After much nervous debate back and forth, we realized we had only one option: we'd have to ring the bell and get Sister Shanti up. So we rang the bell and waited. Presently Sister came down from her room above the retreat office, and walked over to the gate, wearing a sort of monastic housecoat.

"All right, children, come in," she said evenly as she opened the gate. We hung our heads and solemnly trooped in and to our rooms. Not another word was said.

The next day, she led the morning meditation. At the end of the meditation, as the gong for breakfast sounded, Sister Shanti quietly said, "There are some of you with whom I would like to have a word. You know who you are. The rest of you [these were the older, wiser members of our group who had refrained from "spiritual pizza" may proceed to breakfast."

Oh, oh.

Well, you guessed it. She read us the riot act. But--and this is the beautiful part--she did it with such love and compassion. She didn't mince words: it was pretty harsh, but there was such love, such understanding! She knew we were young and exuberant and sincere, but she also knew that if we wanted to make any progress on the spiritual path, we needed to understand what discipline meant, and its value in our lives. It was one of the best satsangas I've ever been to because she was speaking directly to each of us. And at the end, she smiled, shook her head, and gave us a wink, as if to say, "Your enthusiasm is laudable; just learn to channel it in the right direction."

What a beautiful soul she was.

***********************

I met Sister only once, at a retreat in Greenfield a number of years ago.

As my turn approached to greet her in the reception line after the retreat, my mind went blank. You know how it is, we all want to say something truly heart felt and not superficial.

Well, all I could say was: "It's nice to meet you.". Her eyes beaming, she replied "And it's nice to meet you, too!"

Along with her verbal reply I felt a wonderful wave of love and "acceptance" flow over me, like the unconditional love that a mother feels for her child. My wife later made a comment at how she, too, had felt such loving acceptance from Sister. What a beautiful soul she is.

As SRF devotees, we are so very blessed to have been drawn to such a pure spiritual teaching, exemplified in the lives of many who have dedicated their lives in it's service.